:. Selftest .:

9-03-07: First Photo-A-Day entry.

selftest — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 12:45:01 +0000

Originally uploaded by broken666

So, It’s been a little while since I posted. Nothing new in my life. But I’m trying to stick to this goal. I may just take a picture right here. At this spot. Every. Single. Day. For a year. See how much it changes. That’d be nice . Yeah, I’d like that. I took this picture because I thought the rain in the distance was nice. Also, it was 109 degrees when I took it. And it never rained at my house or job (15 miles from this spot).

So, yeah. My A/C is borked in my house. It’s fucking hot. Really hot. Like, a million degrees. Not fun to sleep in. And then, I go to work and I work outside. I ride a bicycle all day. That is very hot as well. I think the heat is making me type like a 6 year old. “I like that. It is nice. You are pretty. I like you.” Talk about simple language, yeah?

People are bastards

selftest — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 12:53:58 +0000

What is it with people just being fucking stupid? I don’t know if it’s because of the job I do, I don’t know if it’s because of the people I deal with, but people are just… fucktarded. Seriously.

For example; If someone of authority, even some shitty-ass security guard, were to ask you to leave an area, why wouldn’t you just DO it? You don’t have to be civil to them. You don’t even have to agree. But wouldn’t you do it? I would. Shit, I would’ve when I didn’t “know better.” Instead, 9 times out of 10, people want to be douchenozzles about it. “You’re discriminating against me because I have tattoos!” Motherfucker… I have fuckin’ 3 big ass visible tattoos on my right fucking arm. Most of the people I work with have tattoos. “You’re discriminating against me because I’m (insert race here)!” Today just happened to be “because I’m Mexican!” Shitbag… the guy yelling at you (my boss) is more Mexican than you are, punto. Fuck. I seriously hate people sometimes. So after all is said and done, after 6 more of us, all fairly large dudes with guns, tell these people to get out… Now we verbally assaulted the bitch. Jesus christ. I didn’t curse at you, I didn’t call you names, I should have told you to put your big ol’ nasty fuckin’ titties away, but I didn’t. Instead, I placated the shit out of you, tried to make you happy, and you still bitched. Fuck off. And all at the beginning of a long ass 10 hour Saturday night shift. As if I didn’t have enough drunk idiots to deal with.

My favorite are white people, or other races who have been “white-afied.” They bitch, they holler, they moan, they throw the biggest fits, and they get arrested the most. Black guys have been told forever “Don’t fuck with the police” and they generally do not. Even the dudes that just fucked up some guy with a beer bottle comply real quick when we show up. White people? Fuck that shit. They fight, they spit, they’re rude, they call everyone a “ni–er,” even my lilly-white ass. The funniest thing I ever heard? One dude (white guy) called my buddy a “Cracker” and my buddy makes Flava Flav look like fucking Ryan Seacrest. That shit pisses me off.

Anyhow. I’m going to bed, seeing as how I have to be up for another glorious day in about 8 hours. Go me, right?

By the way… I know nobody is reading this, but if they do, I’m gonna start giving you all “homework.” Nothing real hard. Just book/movie/music recommendations.

Tonight/Today, go and listen to some Radiohead. Preferably off Hail to the Thief or OK Computer, two albums everyone should own.

Goals

selftest — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 12:28:38 +0000

You ever feel just sorta… lost? Not lost as in, “What am I gonna do with my life.” Not that kind of lost. Just sort of… drifting. Like nothing you’re doing at the present time is permanent or has any substance. Like you’re just sailing along. Not to fast, not to slow. Just… at a pause.

Fuck that was a lot of ellipsis in one paragraph. Anyhow, what I’m trying to say is this; I need to set goals for myself. Personal goals. Long term goals. Goals that have nothing to with anything and goals that have something to do with everything.

So here’s my first goal. It’s a small one. But I have to do it. It will let me know that I can stick to one damn thing for any length of time at all. Like a normal, non-fucked-up human should, right? I’m going to start a “Photo a Day” blog over at Flickr. I will do this. I need to. I don’t have a great camera, just a little point and shoot Canon SD450. But it will work. Maybe if I do this, and am able to start taking some good pictures, I can really get involved in art.

Good. That’s settled. Now I can sleep. Everyone (no one?) have a pleasant weekend.

Fitteds

selftest — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 09:51:18 +0000

Fuck! I’m going crazy with the amount of fitteds coming out. Check the usual places to see what I’m talking about.

If you don’t know the usual places, a shitload of them are in my del.icio.us links. Which will also give you time to tag me, right?

By the way… I want a million and a half fitteds, but I just bought this little beasty from 10.DEEP. Dammit!

Look at the back of ‘im! Fuck! Awesome!

The Jena 6

selftest — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 05:19:07 +0000

In my quest to find the perfect fitted, I have stumbled across a story that just pisses me off.

Sneakerboxxx’s post on The Jena 6

This has everything to do with race. Everything. One little shit town in the middle of buttfuck nowhere can’t seem to get out of the past. I hate shit like this. Racism bothers the fuck outta me, and I see it everyday. And I live in California. A “tolerant” state. There shouldn’t BE any need for tolerance. Can’t we all just see through the bullshit and know that we’re all fucking people? No white, no black, no bullshit. Just people. This shit pisses me right the fuck off… I’m gonna stop now.

Just a little note on why you should be watching Entourage

selftest — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 05:08:07 +0000

Jeremy Piven. Enough said

Taken from 21st Century Hustle who took it from Young Global

A list of films

selftest — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 02:54:14 +0000

Below is a list of films I think everyone should see. Not that my opinions matter, or anything…
Also, they’re all encoded in links to IMDB. Aren’t you lucky?

A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints

25th Hour

When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts

Jisatsu Saakuru (Suicide Club)

Ôdishon (Audition)

Koroshiya 1 (Ichi the Killer)

Natural Born Killers

21 Grams

The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada

Hard Candy

Brick

I’ll save the rest for another post. By the way, I tried to omit any mega-releases, even ones that I enjoyed. Keep that in mind.

A little about my beliefs

selftest — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 01:37:57 +0000

I know some of you might be saying “Why do I care what this guy believes?” And you might not care to know. But this is a blog, and blogs are nothing more than opinions spread widely throughout the intarwebs, right? So here are mine. I’ll start with my (admittedly fucked up) political views.

First things first. I consider myself a liberal on most things. I support a womans right to choose, I support freedom of speech, I hate censorship, I’m not a big fan of the war, I severely dislike the current administration, I usually support all things from the Democratic party. On the other hand… I love guns. I’m a huge supporter of gun rights. I hate gun-grabbers, almost as much as I hate religous bastards. I think firearms are misconstrued in the “liberal” media. I’m also a huge supporter of Law Enforcement.

I know, sometimes that particular view doesn’t agree with my others. But look at the job. Seriously. If you “Hate Pigs” or whatever, go out and try to do their job. Try dealing with people that want to kill you all day long. Go out and see the worst people do the worst things in the worst way, and tell me it doesn’t fuck up your world-view just a little bit. Every profession has its bad apples. That goes from non-profit organizations to huge government agencies. The media, which we all watch, and we all say “Wow, those cops beat the SHIT out of that guy!” only covers a tenth of the story. They don’t show the low life running 3 miles, they don’t show the low-life yelling “I’ll fucking kill you fuckers!” They don’t show the guy picking up a rock, a huge stick, a lead pipe and swinging it at the cops. Shit, half the time they probably should have shot the fucking creep instead of beating him to a pulp. Then, on top of that, they don’t show the 50 calls earlier that day that the officers were the epitome of public service, where they rescued the beaten wife (who will, without fail, go back to the bastard that beat her), where they saved the three drowning dogs from the neighbors pool, where they taught a few kids some lessons on how to stay out of trouble… They don’t show the acts of heroism. They don’t show the call of the mother who put her child in the microwave. They don’t show the 50 million things that have driven these officers to do what they did. Does this absolve them? Absolutely not. But I think it behooves us to show a little fucking human compassion. You ever wanna smack your boss in the face with a coffee mug? You ever wanna beat your cow-orker over the head with a large, heavy object? Fuck, doesn’t everybody? Multiply that by 50 thousand and you have a cops job. I should know. I’ve been doing security work for the past 3 years. No, not your little namby-pamby mall security with a radio and a flashing yellow light on their golf-carts. Armed patrol. At a place where people should come to have fun, yet they want to smack each other in the face with beer glasses. I’ve pulled more drugs out of vehicles than any one person should see. I’ve dealt with more drunk, violent assholes than most people will ever even meet. I’ve dealt with suicides, attempted murders, drugs, full on riots, spousal abuse… You name it, I’ve probably done it. And I’m not even a cop! So, the next time you see something on YouTube or the news that has the cops fucking some guy up, think about what led them to that point, and ask yourself “Wouldn’t I do the same?”

Greetings and Salutations

selftest — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 05:41:16 +0000

First posts are always the hardest, aren’t they? Kinda funny how this little beast started… I was actually just gonna make a little account to play with WordPress for a project I may or may not be starting soon. I named it Selftest because “tester” was already taken, lucky bastards. Anyhow. I liked the interface so much I just decided to make this my blog/journal/infrequently updated rant space. And I like the name Selftest. It’s kind of… me right now. So much better than some of my other choices of usernames over the past 15 years; “Earthling” being my first, on a little program called Active Worlds. Avatar based, graphics driven chat lounge. Kind of like Second Life of yesteryear. Then I chose “brokendreams.” Why? I don’t know. I think teenage angst was even bigger 6 years ago. I actually still use that username pretty much everywhere I go. It’s easy to remember, that’s for sure. Than I have a buttload of variations. “broken1982,” “broken666,” “broken04.” All easy to remember. All terrible in so many aspects. I’ve never been able to think of a good name. Everything is too dark, too angsty, not me, or taken. I have no super-geeky fanboy names to choose from. I don’t have a very interesting or exciting last name. I don’t have a favorite athlete, or a favorite ice cream, or even a favorite catch phrase from some off-beat dark comedy from 1978. My latest has been “indiekills” that I made about 3 or 4 years ago. It refers to some quote or internet phrase that said “Emo Kills.” I hate the genre label of Emo, but I listened to a lot of “indie” music at the time (still do) so I said “Hey, IndieKills is a great name!” and it sort of stuck. Then people started thinking I was an Indy Car fan, but not enough of one to spell “indy” correctly, apparently. Anyhow, that’s my etymology of names. If you care to comment, leave yours.

Obsessions

selftest — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:25:06 +0000

I have this really stupid habit of starting stuff that I never finish. I know a lot of people do the same thing, but mine is almost my default way of doing things. I used to think it was because I was lazy. Not anymore. I think it’s ’cause I’m scatterbrained.

This little WordPress blog is going to be the one thing I continue to do. I hope to accomplish a few things with it. I need to start writing again. Badly. I’m getting worse and worse at just writing a simple paragraph. I actually feel myself losing vocabulary. Anybody else ever experience that? It’s really fucked up, to say the least. To have a word in your head that you know you knew a couple years ago just disappear. Terrible feeling.

So, here’s my outlet. I’m not gonna lie and say it wouldn’t be great to get some feedback on what ‘m doing here, but if I get none, I understand. This is a big community. So I’ll make a deal with my potential viewers, and with myself. I promise to be as involved with this place as I can be. I promise to annoy the living shit out of people by posting random shit every chance I get. I promise to blog at least once a week, and hopefully more. This will not be like my LiveJournal.

So, to make a long story short, I’ll try and keep this lively. If you like me, thanks! If you don’t… well, that’s your loss.